Highbrow Entertainment

Well, it took a while but Kiki has finally discovered the television.  Yep, our claims of "she doesn't even notice it" and "we don't even need to limit the TV" has all become, much like her diapers, a pile of shit.  Nope, she, like all good Americans, will happily watch the television for, well, at least 15 minutes or so (alright, so, sadly, not like all Americans).


But she won't watch just anything, no no no, she's quite particular.  The only shows that will hold her attention are Elmo related, Yo Gabba Gabba, and Little Bear.  For those of you without children (wait, why are you reading this?  Go out and do something, get drunk, go on a date, get laid, don't just sit and read the internets!), I'll make a simple analogy to understand these shows:


Elmo = Weed.
Yo Gabba Gabba = LSD.
Little Bear = Heroin. 


Now, before I get into this, just in defense of my clean drug tests I must say all this information is via hearsay and internet research.  I'm sure that will hold up in court.  Moving on.  


Elmo is fairly inoffensive, the shows are relatively short, they're enjoyed by most everyone, they're legal in California, and they're easily enjoyed throughout the day, as long as you don't have much to do.


Yo Gabba Gabba is more immersive, quite a bit more entertaining, but may convince you that dressing in a skin tight orange jumpsuit is perfectly acceptable behavior.  


Little Bear will pull you in, suck your will to live, and leave you wondering where the last four weeks, and, for that matter, your money, car, and family went.  


Now, given these choices we, as smart, resourceful parents, turned to that bastion of all parenting guidance.  The internet.  Well, more specifically, Youtube.  But not for a video primer on TV usage by children.  Nah, that's boring.  Nope, we just tried to find a substitute drug.  Behold, our methadone:

As it's known in out household; Dancing Zebra.  Entertaining but short lived, allowing you to continue your life and function in society.


You're welcome.